Friends.

Sometimes I'm reminded of just how important the people in my life are to me.
Like just now.

I fucked up while talking to Spazm, and it got her angry. I feel like a bitch.
And I feel confused.
I talked to Ela to see try and figure out what to do.
This is what was said.

Me: Why am I so damn good at frustrating Spazm?
*sighs*
Ela: jgtlogdohAWKI
the same reason ur frustating me right now
Me: Dammit. Maybe I should just shut up for a while.
Ela: gah! ur doing it again
Me: What am I doing?? I hate not being able to understand..
Ela: do u want me to explain
Me: Yes, I'd like that very much.
Ela: u really wotn afterwords tho
Me: No, I know, afterwards I'm gonna feel horrible, depressed and like a bad person. I'm gonna be pissed at the world and probably want to spend some time blasting 'Bad Day' and writing whatever depressing things I can.
But at least then I'll know what the hell I'm doing wrong.
Ela: exclty, if you dotn want to now
so im not gonna tell u because i couldent cant and probely never will be able to do that to you, because i care about u and thats a big thing, that few will ever know, dotn be depressed, u have enought friends and stuff who like you. who would proboly ki

The chat box cut it of there.
She just called me and finished it, saying people who would kill for me, that I shouldn't be depressed and that I have so many people who care for me, love me and... yeah.
She gave me a pep rally and made me listen to happy songs, not depressing.

I also was talking with Jubbler while talking with her, well, more venting. But it wasn't angry venting. I was confused and depressed and just needed to say it. He made me feel happy, and laugh through the tears that got yanked out of me from Ela's speech. I couldn't decide if they were happy tears or sad tears.... probably both.


I think right now what I really want to say is I love my friends and sometimes I just need to know that they love me back.
God, thank you Ela and Jubbler for making me realize just how amazing both of you are in the past 24 hours. I might have learned more in that time than I have all school year.

And Spazm, I'm sorry. I truely am, for any shit that I've done to piss you off, for not knowing how to help or what to say, for being bitchy or selfish, for seeming indifferent or being ignorant or just too damn cheerful.

And thanks to all three of you, for tolerating every mistake I make and sticking with me.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.