So, I hung out with Jubbler from 6AM till 4 today. It was great, we watched Moulin Rouge and talked a lot. Both in that whole coma of happiness zen thingmabob.
But now he's all sad and afraid, because I mentioned that I think I might be bisexual. Mom says it's just a phase and it'll go away, that almost every girl thinks that at some point, but he's all nervous now and afraid of everyone I hang out with because he doesn't want to lose me.
Dedication is an amazing thing, huh?
It's amazing how fast things can go from perfect to "Oh-fuck-I-screwed-up-again." It's like changing songs on an Mp3 player. One song is happy and Beatles-ish, then the next one is Watch the World Burn from the Dark Knight Soundtrack (And once again, he refuses to believe that anything is ever my fault.) I shouldn't have mentioned it.. Damn.
He blames himself for everything, I don't understand it. He feels like he can't trust me with people now, I think it's because of the bitch I was to him in 4th grade, but he gets scared of when I'm with guys and now with girls too.
Dammitt.
Alright.
Calm.
Okay, seriously? How long can he refuse to believe that I'm not perfect? I can't BE perfect like he expects me to be! I'm going to end up letting him down and then he'll be sad or not trust me anymore or something.
On a happier note, Twin is doing a spanish project on family... she's doing our YML family.
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