Venting on a Bad Day.

You can go.
You can start all over again.
You can try to find a way to
make another day go by.
You can hide.
Hold all your feelings inside.
You can try to carry on when all
you want to do is cry.

List of things gone wrong today:
1.) Sister stole the computer in the morning. (How terrible, I know.)
2.) We were out of Irish Creme coffee creamer (Once again, terrible.)
3.) I forgot my permission slip to go bowling on Friday at home, today was the deadline. I called Mom to see if she could bring it.
4.) Mom forgot.
5.) I'm failing band because of the fucking smart music.
6.) This last weekend was my last one to do it before the quarter, I now have to do it at home.
7.) When I got home Mom and 3M started screaming at eachother. Full out screaming. I haven't heard Mom yell like that since she got her perscription. I've never heard 3M yell like that.
8.) While I was sitting at the computer, hiding from everyone, playing World of Warcraft and listening to Someday by Rob Thomas for god knows how long, all the adults decided to talk in the room I was in. Mom was crying cause she felt bad and, I learned, hadn't taken her pills for two days. (I think she's out.) Housemate was gicing good, even advice.. she's good at that. Dad started talking about how the whole house was very stressfilled and such, what with all the people. He told Mooch (3M's dad, who's living with us til it gets warm again) how pretty much the whole house wants him to get into shape. (He specifically said how either me or Sister before he was living with us asked when he'd leave almost every night.) I was stuck typing on the loud keyboard and trying to ignore it all.
9.) The Jubbler and I were having a depressing conversation. How our relationship isn't feeling perfect, and how things aren't just... you know. Perfect. He's liked me for so long (I recently heard a song in Spanish called Obsession..) and I don't think I love him as much as he loves me. On top of that, I'm so busy with school, other people, YML, CONvergence etc. that I pretty much have no time to make things perfect. ... It's all just... Yeah.
10.) People wanted me to post on YML, I was too busy hiding from the world in WoW.
11.) When I came into my room, after being kicked off, it smelled like old milk, turns out 3M left her chocolate milk on Sister's bed and it spilled. We had to clean that up.
12.) My window had mold on it because of all the condensation it gets.
13.) Dad was cranky when he came in to help.
14.) I wanted everyone the fuck out of my room so that I could relax, and maybe cry.
15.) When Dad asked if I was okay I almost started to cry. He wasn't looking so he didn't notice.
16.) When everyone left I turned on my Mp3... unfortunately, the screen decided to stop working between my walk home from the bus and then... so I can't see what's being played and I can't change my playlist. So.. If I decide to listen to any other Hollywood Undead songs I can't.
17.) My spanish isn't done and I can't get my brain to operate in a different language.
18.) Mom just came into my room and started talking to me about band.

There. That's my list. Now it's bedtime, I have barely gotten a SECOND to myself and my eyes are stinging because The Jubbler called me and I started crying a while back. (Between 16 and 17.)
I need to post on YML... I also need to send out an Updation... and do the MOTM... Dammit...

First CONvergence meeting of the season on Saturday... it should be fun.

.... God.. I feel like I'm venting on about shit that makes me sound self-centered because other people have it oh so worse. I just want everything to be back to normal. I'm so fucking stressed from trying so hard to stay happy on top of it all and trying not to show my parents how much I'm being affected by everything.
I've been hiding a lot more than usual. I think about Gotham and crap, writing, (the thing I need to write is super cheesy but I feel kinda like I want it, but then don't... it's all confusing) but I haven't gotten much done lately. I play WoW to hide...
I'm waiting for it to all blow away, even though I know it won't.

I really feel like the song 'Someday' by Rob Thomas (I mentioned it before) describes how I'm feeling. It was running through my head all day. All. Fucking. Day.

Now I'm off to go read Spazm's newest post, because it didn't load for me before.

And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out.
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make
things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live
our lives out loud.
We'll be better off somehow. Someday.