Friends.

Sometimes I'm reminded of just how important the people in my life are to me.
Like just now.

I fucked up while talking to Spazm, and it got her angry. I feel like a bitch.
And I feel confused.
I talked to Ela to see try and figure out what to do.
This is what was said.

Me: Why am I so damn good at frustrating Spazm?
*sighs*
Ela: jgtlogdohAWKI
the same reason ur frustating me right now
Me: Dammit. Maybe I should just shut up for a while.
Ela: gah! ur doing it again
Me: What am I doing?? I hate not being able to understand..
Ela: do u want me to explain
Me: Yes, I'd like that very much.
Ela: u really wotn afterwords tho
Me: No, I know, afterwards I'm gonna feel horrible, depressed and like a bad person. I'm gonna be pissed at the world and probably want to spend some time blasting 'Bad Day' and writing whatever depressing things I can.
But at least then I'll know what the hell I'm doing wrong.
Ela: exclty, if you dotn want to now
so im not gonna tell u because i couldent cant and probely never will be able to do that to you, because i care about u and thats a big thing, that few will ever know, dotn be depressed, u have enought friends and stuff who like you. who would proboly ki

The chat box cut it of there.
She just called me and finished it, saying people who would kill for me, that I shouldn't be depressed and that I have so many people who care for me, love me and... yeah.
She gave me a pep rally and made me listen to happy songs, not depressing.

I also was talking with Jubbler while talking with her, well, more venting. But it wasn't angry venting. I was confused and depressed and just needed to say it. He made me feel happy, and laugh through the tears that got yanked out of me from Ela's speech. I couldn't decide if they were happy tears or sad tears.... probably both.


I think right now what I really want to say is I love my friends and sometimes I just need to know that they love me back.
God, thank you Ela and Jubbler for making me realize just how amazing both of you are in the past 24 hours. I might have learned more in that time than I have all school year.

And Spazm, I'm sorry. I truely am, for any shit that I've done to piss you off, for not knowing how to help or what to say, for being bitchy or selfish, for seeming indifferent or being ignorant or just too damn cheerful.

And thanks to all three of you, for tolerating every mistake I make and sticking with me.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Meh, more random stuff.

Yay. New jeans. Happy happy.
What's happier than that is that I got TWO, not one, TWO Dark Knight posters!!
So that means I have two Joker shirts, one Arkham shirt, a Joker sweatshirt, a Joker hat, three Gotham stories, the Dark Knight soundtrack, the special 2 disk of Dark Knight and now TWO posters! :D
All I need is the two-disk Batman Begins, that one Joker shirt I saw before and I need to find a Scarecrow poster.
...Wow. That is really, really sad.

You know, I was kinda hoping to have a simple, calm weekday without kids... Just me and 3M while Mom's at the pool with the kids. Of course, 3M's dad had to come. :-/
He bugs me. I'm sorry, but he really does. I don't like or trust him.
Oh well.

So I hung out with Spazm. Hehehe, that was fun.
And the cake wasn't a lie. :D
It was damn good too.
We watched Wizards (poor Peace...) and Kathy Griffin and wrote in the story.
The next day we watched The Diary of Bridget Jones. My God that movie is adorable!!
Then we went to the park and brainstormed for the story.
I think we got lots of good stuff, like a plot (xD). I just need to figure out what exactly to do with a certain character. =P
YAY RIDDLER!
Unfortunately, I'm virtually no good at riddles so... Hehe, whatever. It'll work and it's amazing so far.
I love those little genius moments. They're fun.
I had one when writing the self-rp for YML.

So I got to see my Aunt from Michigan yesterday. I had fun with her! I love my relatives, this visit was pretty much completely unexpected, so it made me happy. I'm probably not gonna see her until next summer now.
Unfortunately, her husband (who she just married) wasn't able to come. I like him.
I also wasn't able to see my cousins, they didn't come either. I hope they can all come soon. I haven't seen one of them for so long...

Oh, and along the way I got to have fun listening to an amazing song about burning cities while driving there.
I had so much fun with that.
That song is actually perfect for if we ever finish the screenplay of the story. For some fun mind manipulation stuff :)

So last night I was feeling depressed for no reason whatsoever (and I finished a bunch of self-rp for YML) then when I left my room the phone rang. It was midnight.
It was Jubbler, and he was feeling really sad. He mentioned that he hadn't slept for two days because he's still afraid that I'm only going out with him because of pity.

In fourth and fifth grade I was a bitch. He liked me then and wouldn't let me forget it but I didn't like him back. At one point I got sick of him talking to me so I said I would go out with him.
Then at the end of the day I told him I had just said it to get him to stop.
I told him that if I was going out with him because of pity he would know by now. I can't pull a charade like that for very long.

Earlier I had mentioned that it was possible that our relationships would be one of those on-off things that the gossip freaks love to follow.
Later I realized that I was wrong and I was fine with waiting, I quote, "for years and years and years until we're twenty and able to spend forever with eachother."

I think we both ended up crying slightly. By the end of the conversation it had become happier. He said that he'd probably be able to sleep and he remembered he couldn't charge his phone, so he had to go. I said I loved him and when I went back to the computer everyone on YML had gone. But I felt so much happier than before.
So much happier.

I love ending these on happy notes.

Writing Update: Still need to go to somewhere to relax and write stories that aren't batman.
But I love the batman stuff :)
Reading Update: Reading my little book on Criminal Psychology. Its rather depressing, so it's going slowly.
Music Update: That amazing song about burning cities.
It's called City by Hollywood Undead. I LOVE it! Spazm also showed me the best video of it everr! It's used with Dark Knight clips, because it fits PERFECTLY. As the maker, TheTokyoRejects, said: A match made in hell.

I will not die in the night, but in the light of the sun,
With the ashes of this world in my lungs.

Final Note: I AM SO THE MASTER!!

Possibly the Post That Will Leave Out So Much It's Not Even Funny.

Well, haven't posted for a long, long while.
Lots has happened, probably gonna forget a lot of it.

Family Friend and her evil dog, and 3M have moved in with us. We've got a full place, especially with 3M's dad coming every (other?) day.

I'm having another Pod Party today. Twin, Ela, Spazm, and... Puppy? I don't remember what I called her. O.O Avril couldn't come this time and the other buddy who couldn't come last time is coming this time, I'll call her Dimples. Hehehe... That'd make her laugh.
We're gonna watch T.V shows, like Psych and Doctor Who. And Puppy's bringing Across the Universe again! She's also bringing soundtracks for all of us! :D

I went to Spazm's birthday party, my god that was fun!!
We went to the park and sang Beatles music while we played around. There was lots of laughing involved, hehe.
Her sister made a seven-layer chocolate cake, really yummy. For presents, Ela got her make-up and Twilight. I got her a bag she liked and the Across the Universe soundtrack.

The tornado siren's going off. But I don't really wanna go downstairs. Spazm's called and now I'm all worried... I'm staying here though. =P

Yesterday Jubbler came by to grab his bike and was outside, hehe, he called and told me to come out. It was sweet.
And yeah, it sounds cheezy, but we sat and watched the stars for a bit. :D

Alright, the carpet is being shampooed and we've got 30 minutes until people are officially supposed to be coming.

Though Ela just came... 30 minutes early ;) Smooth Ela! haha

Wow, I probably skipped like a whole month of stuff... whatever.

Music Update: Currently like Forever by Papa Roach and lots of Across the Universe music.
Reading Update: I got Angels and Demons, Red Dragon and Hannibal as well as a book about psychology in crime scenes. (Oh, I got Sims 3 too!)
Writing Update: Started the third one, not moving as fast through it as we usually do but it's good so far. :)
Need to work on Ghost and the story with Twin. I was gonna go to the coffee shop and get some done, but I never got time even though I was trying to have me-time. :-/

Hehe, all done for now!