I Really Need To Post More Often...

Alright. Lemme try to sum up everything?

Nevermind.

I just went and saw Paranormal Activity with Spazm. That was a really good movie! It's all like... paranormal...y.
Creepiest part: The chick standing and staring at the sleeping dude without moving for two fucking hours.
Best part: Hearing the reactions of the large party of plastics in front of us. :)
Oh, and the fun comic relief Spazm and I got from eachother and the dudes' right in front of us. (He has a foot fetish... heehee.)
After the end we decided to go get Subway. Cause there are no demons in Subway.
We decided that Crane must have a mental breakdown in the story.
The plastic party came in.
I got chocolate milk.
We called Dad and got strange looks from people while we waited for him. I was laughing really hard, it was a lot like what happened the... second? time I went to see Dark Knight. It was fun :)

Three new movies that are gonna come out I wanna see. Shudder Island, the one about an insane asylum but the doctors don't let people who come in go out; Avatar (not the last airbender), the one with the blue people and the allegory of Americans and their idea that if we want something other people have no right to be living on it; and The Lovely Bones, which looked kick ass. The commercial gave me shivers. It's about a girl who was murdered but she's not actually dead and- yeah. It looked awesome!

Let's move to school now!

School is good. Ms. English Teacher is amazing, CONvergence... geeks. Fencing. It's all good.
I like Mr. Study Skills and Honors teacher, he's funny. I don't have any classes with him (cause all my classes are for freakin' sophomores cause the scheduling got all screwed.) But I do his office hours and he's funny. He tells us jokes at the end of the day. It's cool :)
I have finally won the battle of tables. The annoying girls overtook my table, so I had to sit with the annoying jocks. With my fun people spread out between the two. NOW the annoying girls and the annoying jocks all sit together and I get the fun people! BOOM!
Mr. Civics Teacher is still fun. But he wasn't here today, and won't be Monday. Sad day.
I still don't like Spanish and Chemistry. Ms. Chemistry Teacher is too freaking uptight. Chemistry is so confusing and people have lots of questions, but it seems like she gets pissed if you ask her questions so nobody wants to. And then when we have work time we can't work with other people and figure things out. Gr.
I've realized that a guy, whom I will call- no wait. I've talked about him before! What'd I call him? *checks back* Okay. I talked about him before but didn't give him a name except maybe one of the Jackass numbers.
He's the first guy (besides Gym teacher) we killed in the story. I'll call him Capuchin.
So! I realized that in almost every class I have he sits next to me or behind me. He's in all of my classes except one and then doesn't sit next to me in only two. Band: he doesn't have. Civics: behind me. Geometry: Next to me. Nutrition: Other side of the room. English: diagonalish back way there. Spanish: Behind me. Chemistry: next to me.
Talking to me has been one of his favorite past times now. All the time he's all like "Paroxysm, Paroxysm, Paroxysm," and kicks my chair or just turns to me, I look at him and ask what, "it's raining."
"Cool." I turn back.
"Paroxysm, Paroxysm, Paroxysm," kick, kick, kick.
"What?"
"I love rain."
"Me too." I turn back. That's literally what he did in spanish one time.
Then, here, Chemistry.
"Hey, Paroxysm, guess what."
"What?"
"Chicken butt."
"I haven't heard that since third grade."
"Hey, Paroxysm, guess what."
"What."
"Chicken butt."
"Hm."
"Hey, Paroxysm, guess what."
"Hm."
"Chicken butt."
"Hm."
He did it about... I dunno, three more times?
What's really sad is that last year he wouldn't touch me and my friends with a 30foot cattle prod. ... He's so freaking childish!

Alright. Enough rambling about him.

Jubbler's been really happy the past week. No sad conversation, no frustration. I'm loving it. (Don't sue me McDonalds.) We're gonna hang out all weekend, it's gonna be great!
We're gonna go to our school's halloween parties. Mine first, then his. His is gonna be more fun. Mine you don't wear costumes. Yuck. His, you get in free if you're wearing one!
I spent some time figuring out how to get my mask to work with my hair and lah-di-dah.
I'm finally feeling great about our relationship. I'm not scared anymore. He's happy, which is making it so much better. I think, and hope, that we're both feeling great about it.

Oh! And happy happy happy news!!! Spazm now has a boyfriend! :D :D
This makes me very happy. Hehehe.

Alright... I think I am out of talking now!

Wait, maybe not-

Nevermind. I AM done. hehehe.

Writing: Been doing it, but currently stuck in a writers block.
Reading: Stuck in a reading block too. It leaves me with nothing to do when I've finished classwork.
Music: Across the Universe. Hehe. I think my favorite one right now is 'Helter Skelter' it's fun to sing. :) I'm back on Skillet's 'Whispers in the Dark' and Breaking Benjamin's 'Diary of Jane.'

Peace~

I'm Starting To Wonder If Guys PMS Too..

So, I hung out with Jubbler from 6AM till 4 today. It was great, we watched Moulin Rouge and talked a lot. Both in that whole coma of happiness zen thingmabob.

But now he's all sad and afraid, because I mentioned that I think I might be bisexual. Mom says it's just a phase and it'll go away, that almost every girl thinks that at some point, but he's all nervous now and afraid of everyone I hang out with because he doesn't want to lose me.
Dedication is an amazing thing, huh?

It's amazing how fast things can go from perfect to "Oh-fuck-I-screwed-up-again." It's like changing songs on an Mp3 player. One song is happy and Beatles-ish, then the next one is Watch the World Burn from the Dark Knight Soundtrack (And once again, he refuses to believe that anything is ever my fault.) I shouldn't have mentioned it.. Damn.

He blames himself for everything, I don't understand it. He feels like he can't trust me with people now, I think it's because of the bitch I was to him in 4th grade, but he gets scared of when I'm with guys and now with girls too.

Dammitt.

Alright.

Calm.

Okay, seriously? How long can he refuse to believe that I'm not perfect? I can't BE perfect like he expects me to be! I'm going to end up letting him down and then he'll be sad or not trust me anymore or something.

On a happier note, Twin is doing a spanish project on family... she's doing our YML family.

Is This Good or Sad?

Wanna know how good I am? I'll tell you how good I am.

I'm having a conversation with Jubbler and I want to burst into tears.
Yet, I'm on YML, talking to one other person on facebook, AND on the phone with Twin and Avril. And nobody know's that I want to cry.
Earlier I was on skype, video chatting and they didn't know something was wrong.

Yeah, that's how fucking sad I am. I've gotten so good at hiding I can do THIS.

... And NOW I'm gonna feel all selfish for writing this and then I'm gonna think about what other people will think about it and then feel even MORE selfish and this is NOT helping that status!

-I'm just gonna go.